#PROJECTTEACHER

This week something spectacular happened.

But in order to explain it, I have to go back two months to December where I left my job to begin my teaching journey as a Supply Teacher.

In Ontario, there are critiques about how the hiring procedures work around teaching. Basically you start by getting on the supply list, then you move to the LTO (long term occasional) list based on seniority as a supply. And then and only then when you have enough seniority on that list can you compete for contract postings and the permanency that comes from there.

So I knew I was in for a long haul. I embraced supplying as best I could. Very quickly, I learned that if you didn’t have a high patience, you weren’t going to last very long so I found that made me appear more relaxed and easy to work with. As a result, the students felt more relaxed and took me seriously when the time came to get to work.

The funny part about supplying is that you never actually *know* if you’re doing a good or bad job. There’s not really anyone there to critique you and appraise your performance. You just do your best, leave a note for the teacher, and move to the next assignment.

Well, someone must have been watching because before long, I was being approached by the Principal himself to apply for vacancies. I didn’t really think anything would come from it given that I was so new but this week, in the span of 2 hours, I was notified while teaching second period that I was being requested to be interviewed over lunch to interview. I walked in feeling like I really had nothing to lose and walked out with a new contract assignment.

I’ve now surpassed the LTO phase most teachers have to endure entirely and travelled straight to the finish line.

Go to Boardwalk, pass Go, collect $200.

I should be ecstatic about this but a part of me remains uneasy about the whole thing and I know that’s just my inner saboteur.

I’ve been wanting this almost my whole life and now it’s here and I didn’t even have time to get excited about it.

I’m nervous I’m not ready and a part of me is scared to take ownership but the other part knows I now have to live up to my own expectations of what kind of teacher I wanted to be. Trivia: they were big.

I’m sure it will wind up being fine and this is just nerves. But what needs to come next is my moment of empowerment where I do what I do best and make it my own.

Like any project, a classroom is a living breathing thing and needs to be handled with care. But if there’s potential for something special to be made here, I need to find it.

Time for #projectteacher to begin

Protected: Alone Again – A Letter to Myself

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The Problem with Democracy; an Argument in favour of Utopian Socialism and Self-Government

The Prime Minister of Canada announced earlier this year that electoral reform would not be achieved in this term of Federal Government.

The news struck many Liberal voters painfully as the campaign promise that suggested a dramatic shift from the notably-flawed “First-Past-the-Post” system in place now, was, in actuality, a mere tease for the fairer democracy Canadians have been craving.

It goes without saying that a complete electoral overhaul of the current system is a daring move, one which cannot be implemented without consideration for every potential consequence down the road but in a political climate that integrates anti-Muslim rhetoric and “Barbaric Cultural Practices” hotlines into election platforms, a daring move may be just what is necessary.

The Problem

The problem with democracy as it stands right now is that it is built on a system that divides its people. By examining your country in a dichotomic election, major world issues become polarizing. Conservative and Liberal ideals stretch themselves to their extremes in order to best encapsulate the needs of their demographics and issues which should be viewed in a state of gray become black and white topics with no real resolve until one side triumphs. Although this system has helped to benefit a significant amount of challenging world issues throughout the years, it still omits those which are perhaps the most taboo of conversations – those being the conversations surrounding race, religion, sex, orientation, and gender, ie: our most identifying physical/mental/emotional features.

Consider politics as an elastic band. You can stretch it left and you can stretch it right. But after a certain amount of stretching in either direction, the elastic is going to give. What you are witnessing right now across the world, be it Brexit, the Alt-Right movement, or the white supremacy movement taking place, is a response to decades of people being stretched too far. It is what occurs when the elastic reaches its breaking point.

In a way, this is good. Humans throughout history have a tendency of repairing their broken systems as they occur and finding new and innovative ways to move into the future. After all, we didn’t transition from Egyptian pharaohs to where we are today without a few stepping stones along the way.

However, this methodology in itself reflects just how truly unsophisticated we are in our ability to solve problems as a unit. Instead of planning for what may be, human beings are inherently absorbed by the present. Everyone likes to fantasize about what the world could be but no political leader in their right mind would spend time and resources investigating ways to change the system which made him/her the most powerful person in the country.

Which brings us back once again to the initial point of the conversation: What-is-the-problem-with-democracy?

Federal politics as it stands right now (at least in Canadian and similar systems) puts the absolute burden of responsibility for decision-making on our federal leaders (and as John Dalberg-Acton once expressed, “absolute power corrupts absolutely”, but more on that later). In turn, constituencies abandon their own civic responsibility of remaining engaged in political processes. For a long time, this was a necessary procedure. As people lacked the instant communication systems of today, it was impossible for every resident to be involved in politics and live their own lives simultaneously. That all changed in 1876.

Alexander Graham Bell’s invention of the telephone revolutionized the world as we saw it. It gave an undocumented power to its beholder which was the ability to communicate with another human being in real time from across the world. The sheer thought of how the device would be perfected to the point of being accessible to any human being in a 3×6” form to fit in their pocket along with an endless supply of information would have toppled the 19^th century on its head.

But it is a reality now. And changing realities demand changing frameworks from which we may govern.

As circumstances would have it, this era of enlightenment is occurring simultaneous to another era of capitalist oppression and a war is being fought everyday amongst ourselves to see which side will come out victorious. We call this war the political spectrum and in a black and white democracy, every four years, it is fought again.

It is an interesting tug-of-war to bear witness to and one of which tensions have never been greater but as previously mentioned, at some point, the elastic band must snap.

At the present time, political systems have two options:

1. Remain with the status quo until the system inevitably breaks and then rebuild. Or;
2. Plan for a society that promotes the peace and wellbeing of all community members by implementing the technologies that exercise communication strategies of the 21^st

It should be said that the first option will get worse before it gets better and in order to work together, we must first bear witness to the increasing resistance of opponents to change. That said, history has a tendency to side with the ideal of progressiveness.

The second option is significantly more optimistic. It involves social activeness and long-term planning far beyond the 4-8 year terms we usually see from our political leaders… a minimum of 60 years into the future, in fact.

The internet is the tool necessary to unite people and create a system of government which is free from the burden of absolute power, absolute control, and of, course, absolute corruption.

In order for a self-governing system of politically minded citizens to work, however, citizens must first be politically minded enough to put aside their differences and agree that the will of the people is greater than the will of the powerful. In order for that to occur, the education system is in dire need of a revival, as well, to train our future decision makers on civic responsibility and world diplomacy.

We can do it, although the elastic band is tighter than it has ever been. Will it snap or will we take this opportunity to take a chance on something new? So begins the next great tug-of-war.

 

-per amicus

Things I Learned from Falling in Love

Being exposed to one other human being for a long time encourages the mind to grow.

Love is patient, love is kind, and love must learn how to comprehend the human mind in order to survive.

Not everyone gets the opportunity to share their life with someone else and not everyone needs to. But sometimes it motivates us with just the right kick in the pants we need to learn from our surroundings and wrap our heads around just how delicate human nature can be.

For example,

1) You’re Never Going to Agree on Everything

There is so much pressure in this world to find that perfect person. You’ve seen it in movies, heard about it in songs, and it’s been the emphasis of every Disney story since you were a child.

The concept has been romanticized and embellished so much to the point that upon first signs of a struggle, you start to question whether or not you were meant to be at all.

Let’s be honest for a moment.

Fights break out more and more over time. It’s not a sign that things are unstable between the two of you, it’s more a friendly reminder that you’re still two (very) different people.

And that’s okay.

Disagreeing is natural. It’s a sign of maintaining dialogue and it opens the door for compromise which will spark a long and healthy relationship when you’re open to it.

The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. We need to forget about this notion that we need to blissfully overlook one another’s flaws and spend our days in la la land in order to be happy – the real world’s not like that, anyways.

Embrace your differences but learn to respect that as much as you might feel your opinion is the better one, so do they.

2) Agree to Disagree

There are many people in your life that you won’t agree with. Thousands. Maybe millions. So my next suggestion might sound a little insane at first: Stop arguing with them.

No, you’re not admitting defeat. No, you’re not going to become a quiet little punching bag in the corner (unless you allow yourself to be).

It’s human nature to want to prove someone else wrong and have them see the world your way but it’s not ever going to be the case because as easy as it is to say “why can’t you ever see things from my perspective?”, chances are that they’re thinking the same thing. And you’re not.

True empathy is incredibly difficult to achieve, particularly when we’re angry and feeling that our voices aren’t being heard. And your partner might be there or they might not but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to put an effort forth.

Swallow your pride – if only just for a moment – and try to understand that maybe the way that they were raised conditioned them to think in a different way about a certain topic than you. And that’s okay.

Sometimes the best and most mature way to approach an argument is to revert to the sidelines, accept that they have a different opinion and find a positive way to move forward despite those differences while ensuring your own voice is heard.

3) People will Always Look at Things from their own Experiences

Whether it be a romantic partner with a differing perspective of how to raise kids or a racist acquaintance on Facebook you sometimes wonder how you became friends with, sometimes you just-won’t-get-it.

“How could they possibly think that?”

“What’s the matter with them?”

“I was raised this way and I turned out great so…”

Not everyone had the same childhood as you. Not everyone may have had the same shortcomings, the same challenges, or even the same lifestyle.

One is not better than any other and if you wind up falling in love with that person, there’s a reason for that regardless of where you’re from.

That’s why meeting your partner’s family is always such an adventure. And the bigger the family, the better the picture it paints.

The family is almost always the first set of people that someone is exposed to at length and more often than not, the one’s they remember the best since they’ll almost always be around.

See who they respect, who they get annoyed by, who they’re comfortable around and how their habits change around them.

These are the impressions that paved the way for who they are today and while sometimes it might make you uncomfortable, to them, it’s home and it used to be an everyday reality. Embrace it because as hard as you want to love someone, you can’t change their past. It might even give you a better perspective as to how you can best go about loving them more.

4) Get over yourself

There are over 7.4 billion people in this world. And not one of them will be the same as you.

While this tagline might read like a motivational quote to be the best little snowflake you can be, that’s the exact kind of thinking you should try to get away from.

Stop thinking about the 1/7,400,000,000 snowflakes that is you and start thinking more about the 7,399,999,999 snowflakes that are other people.

About 7.4 billion other people in this world and every single one of them is going through their own challenges, their own successes, and their own separate lifestyle from you. It’s hard to imagine but if you were to drop a pin somewhere halfway across the world and follow any random man or woman from inside their own mind, you would see them interact with people – and it won’t be the same way you would – solve problems  – and it won’t be the same way you would – and get frustrated at things – and, surprise, it won’t be the same way you would.

Now what of your romantic partner?

You two might be inseparable, two sides to the same coin, a yin and yang of kindred spirits but even when you’re feeling on top of the world, until you learn that you’re not the only person whose happiness is important, you might not see the small things that could be going on inside your partner’s head.

How was their day at work? Who made them happy or sad or angry or frustrated? How much of that is still replaying in their head even when they get home? How might that manifest within their interactions with you? Maybe 9 days out of 10, they really don’t care that you don’t use a coaster but today their experiences have aggravated them to the point to say something.

There are a million different scenarios that could be playing and responding to the situation with “Well that was rude, you didn’t use a coaster last week!” isn’t going to make a situation lighter.

The same goes with people you might not see every day of your life.

That customer who feels the need to yell at you may have gotten home hoping to surprise their teenage son with a new shirt only to hear he hated it after taking the tags off and is now feeling defeated.

Or the guy who cut you off on the highway may have just been cut off by three other people.

These situations do not justify poor behaviour but they do help you to understand and empathize with where it’s coming from. And in only focusing on how these situations might upset you only helps to perpetuate the cycle of negative responses.

5) Keep it Positive

No relationship can be happy all the time. At some point, we will always feel the need to express our own frustration. That said, it’s worthwhile to make an effort to push positivity back into the room and convince your significant other to do the same.

A healthy relationship is one that keeps the feelings of goodness in the air moreso than the bad.

Celebrate your partner’s successes. Compliment them on how they look. Do things to surprise them. Tell them how much you love them. Recognize when they might need cheering up more than you and share the weight together.

And better yet? Convince them to do the same.

One person showering positivity while the other loathes in self-misery will only result in one person feeling undervalued and overworked and looks more like a one-way relationship. Two people doing it is a team.

6) Communication

They say it in every single self-help romance book and I’m saying it again now.

If you don’t learn how to communicate important concepts with your partner, you will always feel like you’re missing something.

Keep an open-dialogue. A part of that is making sure that both you and your partner feel safe to express whatever is on your mind without fear of starting a fight.

If you bottle the small things up your entire life, you’re going to be 60 years old stuck in a routine and feeling ultimately unfulfilled. Find a way to say what is bothering you so you can address it quickly and force your partner to participate in a dialogue. If they or you won’t listen to compromise, there is going to be a problem.

If things are meant to be, the communication should come naturally. If not, there may be deeper issues.

Which leads to my final point.

7) Love Always

This is probably one of the most difficult concepts to wrap one’s head around especially if you are a firm believer in true love. There might be several soul mates in your life.

However, the one you choose to be with is there for a reason.

The two of you fell in love because you saw something in each other. The two of you continue to grow together because you learn from one another. And ultimately, the two of you will stay together because you understand what it takes to make a relationship work.

“Timing is everything” when starting a relationship because you need to be at the right point of understanding in your life to make it succeed. “The One” right now might not have been the right one for you two years ago because maybe you or they didn’t quite learn these lessons yet.

“The One” last year might have realized at some point that one of these qualities was amiss and things fell apart. That doesn’t mean you didn’t learn the other five qualities in the meantime.

Learning to love is a journey and while it might not always be for everyone – either by choice, luck, or circumstance – it does carry an immense benefit of self-awareness.

Love can be intimate or broad. It can be with one romantic partner or with fifty strangers you meet in a day. It’s not limited to relationships, or family, or friends.

We all have the capacity to learn these lessons and probably many more through our own unique experiences. It’s a part of the ongoing pursuit of happiness.

Love always and love often and you’ll learn to appreciate life a whole lot more.

-per amicus

Life is your Favourite Drink

Life is your favorite drink.

You drink it slowly. You want to appreciate every subtle taste; every pleasing texture; all the succulent wonders.

It’s refreshing, it’s relieving. But most of all, it is limited.

And when it’s gone, you’ll be sad.

So you pace yourself, spreading it thinly throughout your meal or evening; watching it sink slowly to the bottom of your glass until nothing remains.

But who’s to say you can’t have another?

“No I couldn’t.” “I’m watching my intake.” “I can’t afford it.” “It was my last one.”

You’re the only one limiting yourself. There will always be the opportunity for another drink.

So imagine that you do have another. It will even better.

So what if you knew? What if you spent the whole time drinking the first one knowing that as soon as you finished, there was a limitless supply just waiting to be drank? Would you have appreciated it any less? Any more?

And would it have changed your perspective at all in how quickly you downed it?

After all, why would you hesitate?

Life is the second glass. It’s also the first.

There is so much goodness in the world and you’ve been conditioned into appreciating what you have so strongly that you limit your happiness to what is right in front of you. You’re allowed to enjoy it all. The only obstacle to overcome is yourself.

Appreciate every sip without worrying about the end.

Cheers.

-per amicus

GoT Fan Theory: Bran Stark is his own Uncle

After this week’s insanely informative episode, all the rules have been chucked out the door for the Game of Thrones.

Spoilers ahead.

Time travel is possible in Game of Thrones. We saw a glimpse of it with Bran calling out to Ned Stark and we witnessed it first hand when the white walkers reached out to touch his arm.

Game of Thrones wouldn’t have showed us something this dramatic unless they had intentions of letting it go somewhere. Otherwise, fans would be screaming for Bran to go back in time and stop any of this happening.

My theory: he does.

He goes back in time and conveniently takes the stead of his uncle Brandon, son of Rickard Stark and brother of Ned.

I realize that this sounds absolutely crazy but the evidence has all built up to this:

1. A Long List of Brans

Isn’t it a little convenient that Bran is seemingly the ONLY character named after an ancestor that we know of on the show (other than Rickon following Rickard)? And not only one ancestor but several.

Bran is named after his uncle – the older brother of Ned. He also shares a name with Bran the Builder – the founder of House Stark who also built the wall as well as Bran the Breaker – the 13th Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch who helped to overthrow the Night’s King. Literary parallels aside, everything seems to add up to precisely what the Bran we know would probably strive towards achieving. And he has all the power to do it too.

2. The Sword of Brandon Stark III

In every way, shape and form, Brandon was named a terrific swordsman. He loved his sword. And at the end of his life, he was said to have died reaching for his sword as a leather cord wrapped around his neck to strangle him.

And then, after Winterfell was sacked and before their escape, Bran IV takes Bran III’s sword from the crypts.

Bran carries the sword of his uncle with him. Who is to stop him from, say, going back in time to the moment of his uncle’s death after being disarmed and attempting to give him his sword back.

Bran III might lose his mind. His sword so close, a chance to live. But in the end, it winds up becoming his downfall.

3. The Reluctance of Ser Jaime Lannister

I don’t believe for a second that Jaime Lannister killed the Mad King. Something seems off. Other characters have insinuated that things didn’t go down quite as predicted. And then midway through season 3 in a steamy hot tub scene with Brienne, he finally revealed some details. He said that Aerys saw traitors everywhere, he kept shouting “burn them all” in his final moments and when he turned to run, Jaime stabbed him in the back.

I’m sure that that’s what he thinks happened. But I bet he also doesn’t believe what he may have seen that day.

Could Bran have been the one to go back in time to see what happened and then, disappointed in the outcome gone on to slay the mad king himself only to have Jaime finish the job? What if the “kingslayer sword” was none other than Bran III’s?

4. The Absence of Brandon Stark III from the flashbacks

This point is more out there but it’s a thought nonetheless. Bran has now seen two famous Stark flashbacks. And he has yet to even insinuate “where is Brandon?”

There is a possibility that he is the dark haired boy watching Eddard and Benjen swordplay as children but it’s strange that he is not named when the other two and Lyanna very clearly are.

Bran III was supposed to marry Catelyn, Bran IV’s mother and it was only after his sad murder that she went on to marry Ned. There is a very strong connection that Bran should have with Brandon and yet we haven’t seen it yet.

There is a chance, however small, that Bran is meant to simply BE his own uncle and fill that void. Perhaps he was an unspoken-for bastard or perfectly alike in appearance or…

5. Brandon Stark III is still alive in present day

Bran took the place of his uncle in the past. After watching his uncle be murdered by King Aerys, he sought revenge and joined Jaime Lannister in his defeat. But not at a price. By appearing full force in the past, Bran became a part of it, doomed to wander Westeros as a nameless man. After all, who would believe he was “Brandon Stark”? Brandon will re-appear at the season finale (with his moving legs) to help Jon and Daenaerys take out the white walkers again and restore the rightful place of the throne to his nephew-brother, Jon.

 

So what do you think? There’s a lot going on here but I think it all adds up. Leave your comments below!

 

Masculinity Off-Script

In theatre, we learn to open our souls.

—

A man grows up. He starts life as a child, innocent and free and unafraid to cry. But as he grows, he learns.

He learns and he listens to the moral guidelines of his world – they tell him “be a man”, “grow some hair”, “beef up”.

They steer him to hate where he should love and love where he should hate.

They teach him that to emote is to fail in manhood. That he should be strong but mostly silent.

They teach him to ‘man’, and he learns it.

—

That same man can be taught again. He can be taught to love. He can be taught to be unafraid to let himself go once in a while.

This, he does not know.

For no one understands theatre until one experiences theatre.

And when he does, he is immersed in it – it forces him to become someone he is not. It teaches him that there is no need to hold back. But when he stops, it is like ripping a face out of water.

The air assaults him and he is once again returned to his space between his legs.

He may be shy; he may be embarassed; he may say “it was just a one-time thing” or “I may have had one too many drinks.” It is a gay love affair.

It is a marriage to his unspoken femininity.

He is betrothed to his emotions and he has tainted himself forever as his “pussy” self.

And he loves it. He refuses to concede but it was a world yet unexplored. A world in which he gives himself freely in the company of strangers. And he is forced to interact with them. And they dance, and they sing, and they love.

Oh, how they love.

They love like two wet fishers on a damp lake.

They are married, they are widowed, they are brothers, sisters, they are subatomic space particles fighting to succeed.

They are all their hearts can imagine and they are pushed to their very limits just to stretch the skin.

And they return. And their lives will never be the same.

Craft

I want you, just for a moment, to think about sports. Think about them and how they were conceived.

Think of the easy sports: the soccer ball as it is kicked in the net. Think of the medium like a puck designed to a circumference to best slide on ice. And think of the intricate: a pigskin dance of jocks, bounding forward and back and timed with precision and flags.

—

Now think of your arts in a similar fashion as your dancer leaps for sheer love and the painter as chooses his meaning along with tones and textures.

Now focus on the theatre.

This masterful craft lives for interpretation. The individual soul bounding slowly into a great white slate. The artisan of words and movements as she lives… She breathes. She becomes her art and it latches onto her soul.

A sketch that is claimed by others as they physically create worlds of sound and colour.

They work together to breathe life into – even just for a moment – a stage.

And they watch, and they cry. And they believe and then… they are returned.

To their own sick and twisted universe. Where they become whole again. But it is not welcomed. They need more and crave more.

So they go.

And they create something new.

And once more, it is beautiful. The world fawns over what power they have in their craft.

But just like the night, it changes back once more.

—

The theatre is not an art to be bemused, it is one that breathes in your soul. It becomes you and alters you and changes your outlook: how you live – and – how you love.

Such beauty in the world and they see it all through a daily lens. So much so that they learn to love more passionately, give more deeply, venture more dangerously…

They are the fireballs: and they burn hot.

 

Death and my Apathy Towards it

This week I received word that my grandmother had a stroke.

It raised a lot of mixed feelings in me.

First and foremost, my grandmother and I have never been notably close. She’s a traditional eastern European lady who moved to Canada after the war. She’s never been superbly fluent at English. And other than when she watched me after school for a few years as a child, we’ve never really had much in terms of conversation.

That said, she’s my grandmother; my only grandmother. My other three grandparents were all dead before I first opened my eyes. And other than two uncles from before I was 10 (one genetic, one by marriage), I’ve been lucky enough to have never really experienced loss.

I want to say I’m lucky but it’s hard for me. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about it when it comes. I’m one of a rare few that never really had to think about the sadness one should feel when another human being they loved leaves this world.

When I found out about my grandmother, it was through a text. I was making dinner. Not knowing how bad it was, my first instinct was “I guess I’ll keep stirring these noodles”. I didn’t know whether I should call, cry, worry, or drop everything and drive an hour to see her.

Some people are blessed with a strong sense of innate empathy and instinctive emotional response. I am not. And it’s moments like these that force me to wonder whether there is something inherently wrong with me.

For someone who feels so in touch with the world around him, and conscious of the fact that we are all human beings with separate minds and part of a wonderful science experiment called life, I should understand what it means to be sad. After all, I go for many a wonderful cry when it involves trivialities within myself so why not when it comes to death?

Death is something else.

I understood it most when my friend’s partner was untimely struck by a train and killed at the ripe age of 21. And it certainly didn’t make me cry.

I came to a shocking realization that day: death is only sad for the living. Funerals, wakes, souvenirs, mementos, heaven – all of these things exist for the sole reason of giving the living consolation – something to clutch onto after someone is gone. It won’t bring the person back but it gives us solace in remembering what a good life they did have so as not to let ourselves dwell on the mysteries of death.

Moving on is never easy (says the man who seems to be describing himself as a robot right now). It’s a shocking realization of our own mortality and the fact that time is solely linear.

So maybe I just understand that.

But still, something feels out of place.

Seeing my grandmother in her dying state, unable to open her eyes – tubes in her chest – while struggling to formulate words to let you know she’s still there… I didn’t have a response.

I thought that seeing her in person would make it real, would help the reality of it sink in but it didn’t. In fact, I think I accidentally complimented her saying she was looking good as a joke to lighten the mood.

When I said goodbye, I wasn’t thinking “this may be the last time I ever get to see you whole again.” I thought “goodbye for now, Grandma. I may see you or I may not. Just try to feel better whatever way that comes.”

To mourn is human but it’s making it too much about us and our own tendency to miss people when they’re gone. Or at the other extreme, it’s being so empathetic that we’re afraid of death for someone else.

We shouldn’t feel sadness about death. We should feel sadness about suffering. I think that if it meant that my grandmother would be free from the pain she’s been embodying for the last two years of her life, I would be happy for her so long as she felt she was ready to go. And even though I didn’t fall to pieces when I saw her, I did become aware that pain, suffering, and even death are all purely physical.

To exist at all is beautiful.

-per amicus

The Never-ending Quest for Self-Improvement

Following my existential crises and Star Trek Model for Society posts, I’ve been taking a long time to think about things. Today, the major thought of the hour tends to circle around self-improvement.

Trying to find purpose in life for anyone is difficult.

Religion is an option. Many people turn to it when in need of solace or finding a meaning outside of our own.

There’s science. Also known as the atheist’s religion, it’s something else we can root our lives in to understand our tiny existence in this world.

But what about the in between? I’m talking about what people turn to when they aren’t at their prime. 99% of our lives are lived on autopilot (that’s not a fact but a number I just pulled out). We sleep, eat, work, play, rinse cycle, repeat.

Surely there has to be something that motivates us. In my Star Trek model, I mention money as this substitute. And that’s still valid. The gods of money are prominent and 99% of people (once again a made up number but also very likely) will spend their days working tirelessly for an income to increase their material possessions. Many of course question whether or not this is all there is to life – why else would mid-life crises so often revolve around the expenditure of money on worldly goods and experiences?

While not the most substantive of goals, it’s a goal by default given the society we live in. We work for our money; ergo, why not make it our goal to collect as much of it as possible? Like stamps or comic books.

Alternatively, I’ve come to realize maybe there are other facets for those of us struggling, like I am, to find some additional purpose in this world.

More recently, I’ve found that I’ve subconsciously been pushing myself. I’ve been going more often than ever to the gym shortly following my newest chest tattoo which I find myself flaunting as often as I can.

I’m not doing it out of cockiness, but out of pride.

I’m enjoying my body in the best, healthiest way that I know. And fortunately, in this 9-5 life so many of us live, it’s giving me motivation to keep going day after day.

Is it going to last forever? Probably not. Life is going to take over soon enough and I’ll fall out of routine or delve into a fast food binge but at least I’ve become conscious now of the WHY I do it.

When I’m done, I can turn to music, or writing, or my career. This is what life should be.

So take that selfie and tweet your gym progress.

Live your life proud. Live it loud. Don’t let anyone discourage you from it. Because tomorrow you might be dead and these are the little things that make your life significant.